I’ve been awake since 3, when I fed the baby and tripped down the hallway to the bathroom and checked Facebook and went back to bed then couldn’t sleep without getting up and making sure my older boys were tucked in, because all our windows are open which I like because I prefer a slight breeze over a humid oven #personalpreference but who knows, maybe a breeze will give my 4-year-old pneumonia and they’ll publish an article about it in the Daily Mail and everyone will leave comments about what a terrible parent I am.
I am not a terrible parent but sometimes I’m a pretty inept adult because I had a cup of tea yesterday and then some of the husband’s frozen coke, even though I *know* I can’t handle caffeine. I went to bed at 9:50 thinking I was sooo tired I would just pass out and then my brain was like “haha good luck” and I stayed awake for hours, feverishly researching travel destinations in Italy, planning the perfect travel wardrobe, and wondering when I’ll start going through withdrawal symptoms because I forgot to get my meds and haven’t had any since Saturday.
Then I started scrolling through a Pinterest, thinking about how nice it would be to wake up and watch the sunrise over the mountains with a cup of coffee in one hand and a freshly-made pastry in the other, before greeting my sleepy children in their matching pyjama suits and starting our day full of joy and minimalism and being in the present moment, probably involving floppy hats and oversized sweaters. Then I remembered we don’t live in the mountains, I don’t like coffee, and if I got up before my kids it would be so early my eyeballs would shrivel up and fall out and I’d be too nauseous with sleep deprivation to bake anything.
My mornings are grey, sick, exhausted blurs of traffic noise from the highway, crappy ABCKids tv shows and the scent of three overfull wet nappies.
And yet here I am, insomniac extraordinaire, apparently planning on coping with all three children all day on three hours’ sleep.
Just remembered I will only have two children, eldest will be at daycare.
Just remembered we’re out of bread so good luck making him a sandwich for lunch.
Just remembered this is his last session at daycare, because he starts kindy soon.
Just remembered I still don’t have my license or a second car so I’ll be taking three kids on a 25-minute walk to kindy twice a day.
As much as I like to repeat that I’m just #wingingit there are times when I feel like my life could benefit from a lot of changes.
Anyway. Back to the early morning Instagram pose….